Q. A bochur took some money from someone and now wants to make teshuva and return it. He so did, he put it back and is sure that the owner didn’t notice that it was missing. Does he have to tell him and ask mechila, (forgiveness)? He would be very embarrassed by this.
A. The Mishna (Yoma 85b) teaches that “Transgressions between a person and another, Yom Kippur does not atone until he appeases the other person.” Similarly, the Mishna (Bava Kamma 92a) states that “Despite the fact that the assailant who caused damage gives to the victim all of the required payments for the injury, his transgression is not forgiven for him in the Heavenly Court until he requests forgiveness from the victim, as it is stated that Hashem told Abimelech after he had taken Sarah from Avraham: “Now, therefore restore the wife of the man; for he is a prophet, and he shall pray for you, and you shall live” (Bereshis 20: 7).
So rule Rambam (H.Teshuva 2: 9, H. and Chovel Umazik 5: 9), Shulchan Aruch (O.H. 606: 1), Shaarei Teshuva (Shaar 1: 44), and others, namely that one who steals or damages another, besides returning and repaying what was stolen or damaged, he has to ask forgiveness for his act.
However, Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that in this particular case, since the victim was not even aware of the loss inflicted on him and there was no suffering or distress caused, due to the sensitive and embarrassing circumstances involved, (Kavod Habriyos), there is no need to tell and ask forgiveness.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit’a