# 2814 Timing Is Everything

Q. A couple planning their wedding (a small wedding since it is a second marriage for both and these are still corona times) in the next weeks. Is it better to do the wedding on the third or the last week of the month of Elul, and not wait until after Rosh Hashana, since some avoid weddings on the Assereth Yemei Teshuva. or maybe it is preferable to make it at beginning of the year to avoid the time of chissur halebanah when the moon is decreasing?
A. Shulchan Aruch (Y.D. 179: 2) and Remah (E.H. 64: 3) in the name of the Ran, write that the minhag is to get married only at the beginning of the month, when the moon is still in its increase cycle. Biur Hagra (Y.D. 179: 5) points to the source in the Zohar.
However, many Poskim disagree and the minhag in many places is to perform weddings even in the second half of the lunar month (Otzar Haposkim 17: p. 64, Nitei Gavriel – Nissuim1: 47: 5, Hanessuim Kehilchoson 1: 5: 49 and others). Additionally, some Poskim maintain that on a second marriage, there is no concern on doing so at the end of the month. (Shulchan Hoezer 1: p. 86, Maaseh Avrohom 5, and others). Moreover. Darkei Teshuva (Y.D. 179: 8) asserts that the minhag does not apply at all to the month of Elul, which is in its entirety propitious for marriages.
Mateh Efraim (602: 5) maintains that one should not preferably get married during the Asseres Yemei Teshuva.
Hochmas Shlomo explains that, since it is a time of judgment, it is similar to the end of the lunar month. Again, Poskim permit on a second marriage. (Piskei Teshuvos 602: 3).
Hirav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that since both options are very similar. it is preferable to perform the wedding as early as possible.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit’a

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