Q. When a guest is reciting during Birchat Hamazon after a meal the blessing for his host, should he not include the hostess also? Why is she is not usually included in the established different nuschaos or versions? (See first question above.
A. In many sidurim the Horachamon does mention also the baalas habbais or hostess. In the longer version mentioned in the Talmud (Brochos 46: 1 – see question above), the hostess is not recorded, but it may well be because she is mostly included when naming her husband, since we rule “ishto kegufo,” or a wife is alike her husband.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that the baalas habais is not mentioned in the Horachamon’s Talmudic version, due to the Halacha that whatever belongs to the wife, is usually the property of the husband, so she is literally not the “baalas habais.” Besides in those days one husband could have many wives.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a