Q. My son is going to have his ninth birthday a few days after Chanuka and we want to give him as a present a silver menorah. Can he light that menorah during chanuka and then light it again during his birthday party, (all nine lights), when he is also making a siyum?
A. Chashukei Chemed (Shabbos 22a) writes of a similar shaila, to permit the use of the family menora by their non-Jewish cleaning lady for the eight birthday of her daughter. She requested it, because she was very impressed by the family ceremony and all the children singing together.
He quotes Mishnas Sochir mentioned on prior shaila, that would prohibit the use of a menora in a Gentiles birthday party, since it is not a mitzva.
In addition he depends his case on the disagreement between the Bach, who prohibits the use of a shofar after Rosh Hashana if it stands to be used next year, and the Magen Avraham who permits. (Mishna Berura 21: 4 and Biur Halacha ibid. D”H Abal).
Chashukei Chemed further debates if the menora is only a hechser mitzva, or a permitter of a mitzva, but not the mitzva itself and not the same as a shofar or a lulav. He also adds the factor of maintaining good relations, similar to the selling of a mezuza to a Gentile, when refusal may create insult and hostility.
In our case, since a siyum and a seudas mitzva is also involved, it stands to reason it should be permitted. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is it is permitted.
Rabbi Abraham Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a