Q. Re-question 692 (Expound the Second Time Around)
On a second marriage can the Choson- Kallah be together at pictures taking, prior to the chupa? How long and how strict is the custom of the Chosson not seeing the Kallah prior to the chupa on a second marriage for both?
A. The accepted custom among many Ashkenazi Bney Torah is that the choson and kallah do not see each other during the week prior to the chupa. Sephardim don’t usually keep this tradition (Yalkut Yosef Chupa Vekidushin 6: 1, Taharas Yaakov p. 47, Mishnas Yehoshua 9:1:1 quoting Horav S.Z. Auerbach zt”l) Some suggest that the rationale for the custom relates to the halachah of dam chimud – concern that meeting the choson may cause the kallah to have a discharge that could invalidate the shivah nekiyim (seven clean days before going to the mikvah; Talmud Nidah 66, ibid.) Although this custom is not Halacha, and has no early source in the Poskim, it is a good custom because it gives the chasan and kallah an opportunity to be alone and to reflect upon the profound changes that are about to take place in their lives. (The Laws of Niddah 2: 458-459).
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit”a opinion is that as far as this tradition is concerned it does not make a difference between a first or a subsequent marriage.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit”a
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