– Q. Is there anything wrong with celebrating the recent Father’s Day to honor and give the rightful thanks and recognition to one’s father? Is that not a real great Mitzvah? How about if they openly declare and imply that one always needs to give their parents special attention on every day a year?
A. Many Poskim and Rabbonim have expressed their disagreement and displeasure with the celebration of Mother’s or Father’s Day for a number of reasons.
Horav Avigdor Miller ZT’L (Toras Avigdor and tape 122 – May 1976) is well known for his prohibitive opinion on celebrating those days, due to Halachic problem of Chukos Hagoim, or following in the ways of the non-Jews.
He writes: “There’s no question that the American public has been sold an item that was created for the purpose of filling the pockets of businessmen. The American public is the real proverbial gull because no matter what you’ll say about Mother’s Day, it’s a day when people make money. Not only florists! Jewelers and bakers and caterers – everyone is lining his pockets because of Mother’s Day.
Now, Mother’s Day (or Father’s day, doesn’t have any significance based on historical reasons or some religious grounds.”
He adds: “’m going to say something that’s going to be fifty percent unpopular. The authenticity of your celebration of Mother’s Day depends on how much you celebrate Father’s Day. Because Father’s Day like Mother’s Day is not genuine. The truth is that Father’s Day was just an afterthought by the businessmen. That’s all. They thought, “If we’re going to cash in on the mothers, so what about the fathers too?” But it turned out to be a flop. Father’s Day is a very small business item. So they sell a few cuff links, a few cheap things to give the old man; but it’s Mother’s Day – that’s the big day!
And you’re taught that you’d better observe it – or else. And how many fights have arisen between husbands and wives because of insufficient appreciation of Mother’s Day! “Mother’s day!” she says to him. “That’s how you’re going to celebrate my day!”
“Now, whether observing Mother’s Day or Father’s Day is a transgression of walking in the ways of the Gentiles, that I’m going to leave it to the Gedolei Yisroel – because I always do that when it’s a Halacha Shailah. and therefore I’m going to limit myself merely to this overview of the origin of these days.”
However, Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that when one’s parents indeed expect and appreciate that celebration as do their colleagues and friends, it could be done. Yet, indeed, only when it is specifically mentioned that it applies to all the days of the year and it is also not done on the same day the others celebrate.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit’a.
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