Q. Our kids were acting up in a carpool. I finally lost my temper and said something to the ringleader in front of the other kids. I tried to apologize the next day but he would not talk to me. What should I do?

A. There are many factors to be considered. It really depends on what and how you said it, also if it was somehow necessary. Other factors are the age and the relationship between the kids.

There are also Halacha issues in reference to the prohibitions involved when embarrassing a minor.
It is most often advisable to wait until temper settles and the mode changes. You may ask one of his friends to give over a message. Or even a small gift of candies can work wonders.

It is most correct, if necessary, to consult another friendly parent or teacher, that is familiar with the kid and his group.

Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit’a added that when the kid becomes Bar Mitzva and is of age for giving proper Mechila, one should ask forgiveness again.

Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch
Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit’a