Q. Hello Rav, Now my boys are old enough, so we often have a zimmun of 3 men. I know there is a mitzvah to bentch on a Kos of wine/grape juice. I seem to remember it being very common when I was a student in Israel 20 years ago, but these days in Toronto I don’t see it often

I asked a Rav in Lakewood that I attend a online shiur with and he said that its not the minhag to use a kos with 3 people anymore and he doesn’t see anyone doing it. I know that we don’t use a kos for a single person bentching (even though halacha says to), but do we also now not do it with 3? Is it haughty to do it when so many in the community are not doing it? How much of a mitzvah is it really? And what if I want to do the mitzvah, but I’d prefer not to have the extra calories, how do I weight those options? Is there a benifit to bentching on the kos even if I choose not to drink the wine (like ashkenazim do for seudat shlishit)? Thanks!

A. In our days due to the frequent speed of things and time, it is common that people after davening or in other occasions are rushed to their next activity. That is in our case often learning Torah, and are therefore not engaging in the necessary “Kevias Seuda” or the intention of a group eating together. Therefore no ‘Zimun’is required.

Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is similar.

Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit’a