Q. My family is planing to erect the Matzeiva of our grandfather A’H who died during the month of Cheshvan, in the near future.

What is most correct when writing the date; to name the month as Cheshvan or MarCheshvan?

A. Rema (Shulchan Aruch Even Haezer 126: 70) mentions that ”Marcheshvon” should be written with only one letter ‘Vov’.

Kav Noki and Nachlas Shiva (they are the accepted guides for the writing of divorces and Ketubos) quote the month as Marcheshvan, and it is usually the way the month is written in those official documents.

In regards to the adding of the prefix ‘Mar’ to Cheshvon, there are two opposite thoughts and explanations.

Some communities have the tradition of not celebrating any weddings on this month. Sdei Chemed (Ma’areches Chassan Vekalah) mentions that the added prefix of “Mar” or bitter is due to the sadness due to the fact that there are no festivities and Yamim Tovim in this month. Also adding that it is the month when Sarah Immenu passed away

However, Nitei Gavriel (1; 48 p.304) mentions that it is a most important month since it reflects and represents the establishment of the dates and commemorations for the whole year. The word ‘Mar’ stands and represents the ‘Master,’ or leader for the leading month to come. Therefore, the most correct name to be used is Marcheshvan.

Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch
Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit’a