Another Hachnasat Orchim (welcoming of guest question) – Rabbi. My wife and I, are engaged for years in being Mekarev people by inviting then to the Friday night Seuda. These are individuals, men and women that are not necessarily religious at all, and when seating at the table they talk between them not only ‘Devarim Betelim” (unworthy not Torah words) but likely also Lashon Hara’ah, anti-religious statements and other forbidden speech also. Is this permitted? What do other people who carry on similar Hachnasat Orchim and Kiruv programs do? Do the end results permit the questionable beginnings?

Some Poskim do permit saying Devarim Betelim or words without value to rejoice the guest (Minchas Shabbos – Shiurei Mincha p. 157. Toldos Yaakov Yosef quotes the Baal Shem Tov that for the purpose of Kiruv, even questionably prohibited words can be said. (See also Naharos Eison 20: 4). Out of experience, the best way to carry on properly these most important and transcendental Kiruv – Shabbos meals properly and effectively, is to have a program already prepared well before. Not only the singing of Zemiros together is essential, but most important is the engagement in interesting Divrei Torah and stories that people want to hear and enjoy. I have seen some hosts asking their guest, not to bring any presents, but rather to prepare a nice ‘Vort’ (short Torah saying) that they can repeat at the table. Not only does a well prepared program make the meal a beautiful and memorable experience, it is a real truly very effective tool for Kiruv.