Dear Rabbi. I have always wondered since I’m both a son and a father, why is it that children don’t stand for their parents in our days when they enter the room they are? Is that not part of the mitzva of Kivud Av Vaem (honoring your father and mother) that certainly applies today.

Sefer Chasidim (152 – See also Hava’as Da’as Y.D. 240: 19) maintains that parents can and should forgive their honor due from their children, to avoid their being punished when, as it often happens, they don’t comply properly with the mitzva. Bris Olam (ibid.) further explains that although it seems that parents can only forgive the ‘Dinei Adam” or the enforceable rulings, but not the spiritual mitzva itself, on small issues they are empowered to forgive completely. Teshuvos Vehanhagos (3: 276) debates the difficulty of parents forgiving the respect due to them since it is compared to the honor that we must give to Hashem. He advises to at least demand they stand twice a day. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that it depends on the situation and where the parents and offspring are. When the father enters a shul or Bais Midrash it is common for the sons to stand up. It also varies on local Minhogim and each should follow his family traditions.