Q. Dear Rabbi, my friend, who is learning for conversion, has the following dilemma:
Her mother died last year on August 25. Her secular name was Romana, daughter of Emilia. She wants to know if it is possible for someone to say kaddish for her.
The mother was not Jewish, and the daughter never asked her if any of her ancestors was Jewish.
Her name was Romana bat Emilia, and the daughter would like to change that name now and name her for the deceased’s grandmother (Ester)?
A. On question 1916 regarding an individual who identifies as Jewish but is L’Halacha not Jewish, was murdered because he was a Jew. He was killed by gun shot while the murderer yelled “all Jews must die”.
Is it considered that he died Al Kiddish Hashem? A Jewish friend want’s to say kaddish. Is it appropriate to say Kaddish and learn a Mishna for them? We typically wouldn’t do so for a Gentile.
We answered: “Rambam (H. Teshuva 3: 5) maintains that Chasidei Umos Haolam deserve a place on Olam Habba. On H. Melachim (8: 10-11)he defines the virtuous Gentiles as the ones who keep the Seven Noachide mitzvos.
Talmud (Bava Metzia 114b) relates that Rabah Bar Avuha met Eliahu on a non Jewish cemetery.
Medresh Talpios (Anaf Eliahu Moshiach) comments that he went there to save the soul of a Gentile buried at that place. He was being taken to Gehenam, but since he had done favors to Jewish people in his lifetime, he was saved. See Yechave Daas (6: 60) that permits to recite kaddish on such a Gentile. See also Teshuvos Vehanhagos (2: 43).
Beohala Shel Torah (p.312) quotes as a remez to the above, the verse that establishes the Nusach and form of kaddish; “Vehisgadalti Vehiskadashti …Leinei Goyim Rabbim, And I will reveal Myself in My greatness and in My holiness and will be recognized in the eyes of many nations.”
Chevel Nachalasso (40) addresses the case of a non-Jewish Israeli soldier, killed by Arabs, whether he is considered being Chasidei Umos Haolam, since he gave his life for protecting the Jewish people.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that in principle it is better to avoid reciting kaddish, but other tzedaka mitzvos, could be done in his name.”
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit’a.