Q. I’m a Frum father living in a building where most of the neighbors are Jewish some Frum and some not so much. All neighbors joined a WhatsApp link and it has so far worked nicely to unite the neighbors and solve common building issues.
The group came our recently with an idea of celebrating a Valentine day party. The will give out chocolates, gifts and flowers to spouses and address how important they are. All with the intention of promoting Shalom Bait and family unity. Is there any problem joining? What exactly are the sources for Valentine’s Day?
A. A quick search on the Saint valentine day reveals that it likely originated as a pagan holiday named Lupercalia that was a fertility festival dedicated to Faunus, the Roman god of agriculture. The Luperci, an order of Roman priests, would gather at the cave where Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome, were believed to have been suckled by a wolf (or “lupa”). The priests would sacrifice a goat for fertility and a dog for purification.
Young men would be smeared with the blood, which was then wiped off. The goat’s hide would be torn into strips and dipped in the blood. The two young men would put on loincloths made from the goat’s skin and run around slapping women and crops with the blood-stained goatskin strips as a fortuitous omen for fertility. Given its Roman roots, it’s not surprising that the icon of Valentine’s Day is Cupid. Cupid is the son of Venus, the Roman goddess of love. (In Greek mythology, Venus is Aphrodite and Cupid is Eros, from which we get words like “erotic”).
Pope Gelasius declared February 14 to be St. Valentine’s Day in the year 498 and the Roman “lottery” system was outlawed. (From outora.org)
In the 800s, the Church adapted many pagan holidays into Christian holidays. The day commemorates the martyrdom of St. Valentine. Yet scholars know almost nothing about this St. Valentine. Most believe that Valentine lived in the late 3rd century C.E. However, the name Valentine (derived from the Latin word valeo meaning strong) was common in the ancient world. There are at least 30 mentions of the name in historical documents from this time period.
Some maintain that Valentine was a priest who was arrested by the Emperor Claudius. Following a theological debate about the merits of Christianity, Valentine was sentenced to live with a noble by the name of Asterius in a form of house arrest. With the help of G-d and true faith, Valentine miraculously restored the sight of his master’s adopted daughter and, in doing so, converted Asterius and the 24 members of his house. When Emperor Claudius heard of this miracle and the subsequent conversions, he had Valentine killed.
An added related detrimental event happened during year 1349 when the Bubonic Plague, known as the Black Death, was sweeping across Europe, On Valentine’s Day a horrific mass murder when 2,000 Jews were burned alive in the French city of Strasbourg, being accused of causing the plague.
Although, sending cards, chocolates and giving gifts can be explained as a rational expressions of love and appreciation, independent of any possible Christian roots, however, based on the above historical sources of events of the day and on the opinion of Igros Moshe (Y.D. 4: 11: 3), most Poskim prohibit the festivities and traditions of Valentine’s day.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is similar.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit’a