Q. Someone was insulted by a ‘friend’ and answered back with a similar insult. As the Yemei Hadin approach and the provoking offender does not seem to be interested in asking ‘Mechila’ or saying he is sorry. Does the offended have to ask forgiveness for his responding insult?
A. Poskim maintain that in principle he is not obliged to ask forgiveness as he was just reacting to an insult given. (Kovetz Halochos 25: 10, p. 312 n.15, and others). However, if he feels that there may be a fair chance for re-establishing peace, ‘Lifnei Meshuras Hadin’ or ‘going the extra mile’ and being especially assiduous to obtain peace, he should indeed do so.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit”a opinion is similar.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit’a