Q. Hello Rav, I am Baal Teshuva. I was told that since my grandparents have no frum descendants aside from me, that I should say Kaddish For them on their Yarhtzeit as long as my parents (who are alive) are okay with it. My question is: why would my parents not be okay with it? What is the concern exactly that a parent wouldn’t want their child to be saying kaddish for someone else? Thank you. Kativa V’Chatima Tova!
A. The reason parents are careful not to have their children recite Kaddish while they are still alive. since it could be seen as a ‘Ayin Horaa,” and providing a symbol for unwanted things to be ready to come.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit”a opinion is that if the parents agree, he can recite the Kaddish for his grandparents.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit’a