Q. Do the attendants to the shul say Mazal Tov to the Bar Mitzva boy or is it like all other salutations and greetings that are prohibited on Tisha Beav?
Can he receive gifts then?
I must mention that my son is somewhat depressed and sad that his Bar Mitzva day fell on Tisha Beav as opposed to his friends that celebrated theirs with much food, music and joy. Is there anything to be done?
A. Horav S”Z Auerbach, zt”l maintains that Mazal Tov for a recent Simcha may be said on Tisha Beav since it is considered a blessing and not a greeting (Halichos Shlomo Bein HaMitzorim Vol. 15, Orchos Halacha 30).
It is mentioned that M’vR’ Hoav Moshe Feinstein, zt”l also permited after Chatzos Others maintain if possible, one should wait for a different day to express this Mazal Tov (Chut Sheini 2 p. 327).
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that Mazal Tov can be said but gifts should be avoided.
You may want to ask the Rabbi of the shul or another Talmid Hacham, to speak then between Mincha and Maariv, and explain the true greatness of Tisha Beav and why it is called Moed. As our Sages teach Moshiach is to be born on that day, As it already was during the era of the Second Beis Hamikdosh, it will again become the happiest of days.
Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a opinion is similar.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit’a