Q. Recently you posted a Q&A about drinking on Purim where ones parent has asked a child to not drink on Purim. In the answer you write that the boy should listen to his parents and not drink. However you then write in the name of Rav Shlomo Miller that notwithstanding the boy should anyways drink on purim (against his parents wishes and the psak)
I told that that I know you and that I know you certainly did not intend to create a “backdoor” heter to drinking however they feel from their experience that this message is often what boys rely to drink against halacha and their parents wishes.
A. This is question and answer (3058) that you seem to be quoting: “Q. I’m a Yeshiva Bachur (after high school), staying in the Yeshiva for Purim. If my mother asked me not to drink any alcohol during the Purim seuda, do I have to listen to her?”
To what we answered: “Halichos Shlomo (19: 25) maintains that one should listen to one’s parents and not drink.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that, you should drink a small shiur (amount, such as rov kos – or most of a small cup) of weak or diluted wine, to comply with the mitzva of drinking wine by the seuda.”
If you are familiar with the over three thousand shailos published in Frum Toronto and Bais Dov Yosef, you would know that we quote the different opinions of other Poskim available and conclude with Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion.
This question deals with a healthy individual of age, that is permitted to drink alcohol, and as mentioned in the answer above, the Rov only permitted, as I underlined above “drink a small shiur (amount, such as rov kos – or most of a small cup) of weak or diluted wine, to comply with the mitzva of drinking wine by the seuda.”
I well understand the very laudable and meritorious concerns that the worthy institution you represent very correctly sponsors, yet you have to differentiate and distinguish between healthy and of age individuals that don’t have alcohol issues, as opposed to the ones that do and should not drink at all.
I hope we all agree that the Halachos of Kiddush, on Shabbos, Yom Tov, Arbah Kossos, Simchas Yom Tov, Purim, Benching, Weddings, Bris Milah, etc. in which wine is required should not be removed from the Shulchan Aruch and Mishna Berura.
I showed Horav Miller you letter last morning and he agreed again that his answer is correct. I must add that all the shailes are double checked by Horav Pam Shlit’a, Horav Aharon Miller Shlit’a and other Rabbonim in the Kolel and the city.
You requested that we should help to publicize that this is not a “backdoor” heter to drinking,’ which I’m more than willing to do. Since this Ask the Rabbi column is very well read not only in Toronto but also worldwide, I’m more than willing to include the Halacha correct answers to your further questions, that can provide such support.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit’a.