Q. A number of questions concerning a teacher in avelus, during the year for a parent.
The students usually send shalach manos to the teacher and sometimes the parents give money gifts. Can the teacher receive them since after all it is part of the chinuch of hakarat hatov? Can she accept them in the name of someone else or tzdaka? Can she give her shalach manos to her students as she does every year? Thank you.

A. An ovel is required to observe the mitzvah of sending shalach manos to others, but others don’t send to the ovel (Shulchan Aruch O.H. 696: 6, Y.D. 401: 7). However sending shalach manos to a Rabbi in avelus is permitted since it is considered as a payment for favors received (Divrei Malkiel 5: 236). Some limit the number of shalach manos that an ovel can send to two or three (Teshuvos Maimoni, end of Hilchos Avelus – Ben Ish Chai, Tetzaveh). Others maintain no limit (Mahariv – Nitey Gavriel, Purim 78 10).

Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that a teacher can receive shalach manos as hakoras hatov (recognition of her good services) and can return to the students also as an example of chinuch.

Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit”a